Atomic AJ Blaster
Station Commander
Once a coast-to-coast radio renegade, Atomic AJ Banger blasted through New York and California studios like a sonic comet, leaving a trail of blown speakers and stunned DJs in his wake. Known for his signature interstellar pieces—cosmic soundscapes mixed with beats so smooth they could calm a black hole—AJ didn’t just spin records, he warped reality. Legend says AJ is an actual interstellar Pisces, which explains his uncanny ability to tune into the universe’s weirdest frequencies and predict when Mars is feeling funky. Back on planet earth, his signal mysteriously disappeared during a late-night broadcast, only to be detected years later drifting through deep space as a cosmic remix. Today, he rules the air above Earth as the commanding voice of 85X, your X-Perimental space station, broadcasting tunes that bridge galaxies.
K. E. Batsey Bombs
Program Navigator
K. E. Batsey began her broadcast career in rural Wisconsin, where her knack for bending signals quickly outgrew the cornfields. Her work drew the attention of the HVPR Labs, where she was recruited into an experimental next-generation broadcasting program.
During what was supposed to be a routine signal-alignment test, Batsey used the lab’s particle accelerator to try and create a cosmic nail color and rerouted an unapproved frequency, activated the Rockets beam, and accidentally transported herself aboard the orbiting WAXB space station—well ahead of schedule.
Now broadcasting from orbit, she balances interstellar navigation duties with eclectic, gravity-free playlists that travel across dimensions and back to Earth at 85X. A Gemini by designation, Batsey enjoys long walks on the orbital catwalk, candle-lit meals in the station mess hall, and taking music requests from distant planets.
Uncle Chuck E. Rockets
Founder – HVPR Labs and WAXB Propulsion
Uncle Chuck E. Rockets started out designing artisan, soy based, hand-crafted radio towers before realizing the same principles could send entire broadcast facilities into orbit. After cashing in on a booming space-station empire, he founded HVPR Radio Laboratories under Pine Mountain to push the limits of experimental broadcasting. His crowning achievement— the Phase-Scattering Framis Converter, an invention rumored to bend both frequencies and reality. It’s a device no one fully understands but everyone desperately needs.
Cody G. Stratos
WAXB DJ and Digital Payload Director
DJ Cody G. Stratos, Digital Payload Director, was born in the break room of an HP data center in Sacramento, where he immediately began rerouting vending-machine power into rogue broadcast gear. He made headlines after hacking the Global Media Radio Servers and replacing all scheduled programming with a continuous 24/7 loop of “Baby Shark,” earning himself a proud place on the CIA’s most-wanted list. Using the HVPR Phase Framis Adjustment Uploader, he escaped their grasp and now drifts safely between space stations, untouchable and untrackable. A true Cancer, Eddie swears his hypersensitive intuition helps him dodge satellites, fine-tune cosmic frequencies, and predict emotional solar storms before they hit the playlist.
Sean “The Space Lawn” Hackett
Host of Sampler Special and Smooth Ride Manager
Legend has it that while crate-digging for obscure funk records and explaining sampling theory to absolutely no one who asked, Sean was mistaken for an interstellar music archivist and promptly beamed aboard the 85X orbital studio. The aliens were confused. He was confused. But once Sean played the original tracks behind some classic hip-hop hooks, everyone agreed: “Yeah… keep him.”
Now at his new home orbiting planet earth, Sean hosts The Sampler Special, decoding the musical DNA of rap, dance, and pop by spinning the original R&B, funk, and jazz records that launched a thousand samples. Part historian, part DJ, part unwilling space traveler, Sean brings deep knowledge, rare grooves, and a calm human presence to a station programmed jointly by humans and beings of questionable origin.
Broadcasting from somewhere between Brooklyn College, SUNY New Paltz, and low Earth orbit, The Sampler Special is proud to be part of the launch of 85X WAXB — your interstellar radio station. If the tractor beam activates during the show… just enjoy the ride.
Little Ricky Rammer
WAXB Director of Talk Programming
Little Ricky Rammer grew up wide-eyed, glued to late-night broadcasts of Coast to Coast with Art Bell and binge-watching every bizarre show the Syfy Channel could throw his way. He was on track to become the youngest ever Director of Talk Programming for Global Radio Networks—until he accidentally aired a live, unfiltered argument between a flat-earther, a foul-mouthed parrot, and a guy convinced his toaster was sending secret messages to Mars. The resulting chaos cost him the gig and landed him exiled to the quiet airwaves of Steamboat Springs, Colorado, where he was the toast of the town. On a fateful bike ride, Ricky stumbled onto the NORAD entrance and, true to form, managed to crash headfirst into Uncle Charlie Rockets’ solar-powered car—while trying to dodge what he swears was a rogue space pigeon performing aerial acrobatics. After that, Ricky found himself recruited by the mysterious HVPR Laboratories, where his knack for mishaps reached new heights—like the night he accidentally beamed himself up into space while trying to heat a burrito in a “microwave” that turned out to be a prototype teleportation device. Now, Ricky leads WAXB’s talk radio division, proving that sometimes, the universe just has to take your weirdness to the next level.
B-Orbital Fores
WAXB Director of ET-Communications
Before he was broadcasting from a floating studio somewhere above Earth, DJ Orbital Fores was a perfectly normal human DJ at WKZE… until one extremely questionable toothbrush changed everything.
Legend has it that while backstage at a George Clinton & Parliament-Funkadelic show, Brian Fores found a mysterious toothbrush lying near a pile of capes, star-shaped sunglasses, and something that might’ve been a Moog. Assuming nothing (and everything) was sacred in that space, he pocketed it. Later that night, mid–tooth brushing, the toothbrush began to hum, the room filled with purple light, and zap—Orbital Fores was accidentally beamed off the planet.
He re-materialized aboard WAXB 85X, the interstellar radio station, orbiting Earth and broadcasting across time, space, and several unexplained dimensions. Engineers insist the abduction was a “funk-related anomaly.” Orbital Fores insists it was destiny… and possibly fluoride.
Now fully acclimated to zero gravity and cosmic playlists, DJ Orbital Fores delivers deep cuts, classic grooves, and transmissions infused with funk, soul, and orbital weirdness. Broadcasting for humans, aliens, and anyone else scanning the dial, he proves that great radio doesn’t need gravity—just a solid signal and the courage to brush twice a day.
DJ Hamburger Cosmic Paws
WAXB Voyager of the Litter Box Nebula
Before becoming an interstellar broadcaster, the Hamburger Cat lived a simple, very catlike life on Earth. His days were spent napping in warm equipment racks, sitting directly on important papers, snacking on leftover takeout food and silently judging humans—especially the DJs. He had no interest in radio, no plans for space travel, and absolutely no idea what a “broadcast console” was. He just liked blinking lights.
Then one night, while exploring an unattended control panel (as cats do), the Hamburger Cat stepped on a sequence of buttons that no human had touched in decades. A low hum filled the room, a beam of light appeared, and poof—Hamburger was launched into orbit.
He reappeared aboard the 85X WAXB space station, where exposure to cosmic radiation, vacuum-grade audio processors, and a suspiciously warm mixing board gave him something unexpected: a human voice. He still thinks like a cat, naps like a cat, and occasionally pushes things off ledges for no reason—but now he hosts a radio show.
As DJ Cosmic Paws, the Hamburger Cat programs spaced-out grooves, cosmic funk, and late-night transmissions chosen entirely by instinct. No playlists. No rules. If it feels right, it goes on the air. If it doesn’t, it gets knocked off the console.
He remains trapped in space, largely because he refuses to cooperate with the return sequence and finds zero gravity “acceptable.”
Jimmy “Low Orbit” Howes
WAXB Creative Cosmonaut DuJour
DJ Jimmy “Low Orbit” Howes never meant to leave Earth. One minute he was deep in the Wall Radio archives, scrolling waxb.org, arguing with himself about whether that was the superior 12” mix… the next minute he leaned on what he thought was a busted transmitter rack. Turns out it was a surplus alien beam switch.
Jimmy was instantly vaporized, reassembled, and deposited slightly crooked inside Space Station Disharmony, a floating broadcast facility orbiting Earth at what scientists call “low orbit” and Jimmy calls “way too close to the sun for comfort.”
Now stranded in space but still broadcasting, DJ Jimmy “Low Orbit” Howes does what he’s always done best: digs deep, plays it loud, and keeps WAXB’s anything-goes spirit alive for humans, aliens, and whoever keeps requesting Earth music from 1985. His show blends classic cuts, weird finds, and the kind of sonic left turns you only make when gravity is optional.
HVPR Engineers insist they’re “working on a way to send him home.”
Jimmy insists the playlist comes first.
Broadcasting via waxb.org and a suspiciously glowing antenna array in the shape of a Middletown Gourmet Hot Dog aimed directly at Earth, Jimmy “Low Orbit” Howes proves that even when you’re lost in space…
you still have to hit the post on time
Ed Stryker
WAXB Director of Intergalactic Marketing
Jed Stryker, Intergalactic Director of Marketing, got his start hustling in the cutthroat major market radio scene of New York, masterminding global campaigns for top media companies with a smile on his face and a scheme up his sleeve. His empire came crashing down in 1984, when he was caught offloading unauthorized Buggles t-shirts behind the Global Radio Networks building in Times Square—because who doesn’t want “Video Killed the Radio Star” merch on the black market?
On the run and with nowhere left to hide, Jed disappeared into the shadowy depths of HVPR Laboratories, where he now brokers high-stakes deals between some of the galaxy’s most powerful—and suspicious—alien overlords. When he’s not wheeling and dealing across star systems, Jed’s cooking up the next big scam guaranteed to blow minds and budgets across the cosmos.
Bob “The Beam” Gilmore
WAXB Transmission Hijacking Specialist
Bob Gillmore didn’t join 85X WAXB—he was forced onto the space station due to his violation of 85X protocol. One second he was in Connecticut at his home studio, remixing Beatles tracks into stereo and attempting to hijack the 85X signal using an AI enabled Wheatstone FM55 processor, the next he was being vacuum-tubed through a wormhole by the 85X tractor beam due to his unauthorized intrusion into the broadcast system. By the time Bob finished asking where the bathroom was, he’d already been given a headset, a glowing on-air button, and a legally binding broadcast contract written in six unknown elements.
Now permanently broadcasting from the orbital radio fortress known as 85X WAXB, Bob spins records that confuse time, frighten lesser species, and somehow improve signal strength across three star systems. His show has been blamed for unexplained toe-tapping on Mars, a sudden resurgence of Earth radio etiquette, and one incident involving a moon that will not stop calling the request line. Bob claims he’s still trying to get home to CT—but until someone figures out how to reverse the beam, he’ll be live, locked in, and transmitting at maximum absurdity.
Juli “The Jammer” Rockets
WAXB Chief Cosmic Comptroller
Juli “The Jammer” Rockets is the steady hand on the throttle of 85X WAXB, the orbiting space radio station where beats travel faster than light and budgets actually balance. As Chief Cosmic Comptroller, Juli makes sure the station’s credits stay in the black, the transmitters stay powered, and no DJ accidentally expenses a moon buggy as “studio equipment.”
Married to legendary propulsion specialist Chuck E. Rockets, Juli was originally scheduled for a routine supply run before a minor miscalculation (and a perfectly timed Quickbooks reconciliation using the side beam satellite internet connection accidentally locked to the wrong HVPR system) beamed her into permanent orbit aboard 85X. Since then, she’s become the unsung hero of the station—tracking interstellar ad revenue, negotiating asteroid bandwidth leases, and quietly reminding everyone that “music is eternal, but invoices are due net-30.”
When she’s not wrangling spreadsheets in zero gravity, Juli keeps the vibe flowing, the jams accounted for, and the station financially cleared for takeoff. Around 85X, the saying goes: if the music’s banging and the lights are still on, Juli’s already handled it. 🚀📊🎶